Sunday, May 1, 2011

I'm sorry, this got rather long !

About a year ago I was in the middle of a tumultuous and emotionally draining phase of a dating relationship. I confided in some of my friends about it from time to time when it was really bad. At that time I called Alisa a lot because Diane and I were kinda not speaking (ok, we were flat out not speaking). One day I had a very bad phone call with my boyfriend and I felt awful. Once again I talked to a friend about it and afterwards I felt no better. I felt like I needed to talk to someone older, perhaps a man (with some insight into the workings of a male brain) that had a different perspective. Although I appreciated the advice and kind words my friends gave me I felt like in a lot of ways they didn't understand, after all these are all girls the same age as me and prolly not that much wiser than me on the "facts of life".

I wondered who I could possibly speak to and lean on and gain wise words from. I really wanted to speak to an older man, a sort of father figure but I couldn't think of anyone. My own father and I were not close and even if we were he was deceased, I had a stepfather, nice enough guy but for some reason I'm not comfortable talking to him. I thought about Mr. Peters. I hadn't seen him in awhile cause I had moved to northern VA and plus I wasn't on speaking terms with his daughter so that could prove to be awkward.

But I gave in and called him anyways, I had to talk to someone.

I can't tell you what Mr. Peters said to me during that phone call (cause I don't remember) but I do remember this small thing, "Tina, I love "love." (he said this with much enthusiasm in his voice). "And I don't know about the ins and outs of your relationship with him but from what you tell me it sounds like you love him and he loves you" and he went on to speak and said that I just needed to let the relationship takes it course and that even though tough times were upon us now that hopefully we would overcome it in time and that on the other side our relationship would prove to come out stronger.

At the end of the phone call I felt lighter. I felt like I had gotten the different perspective that I needed and he had calmed me down about some stuff and eased my soul. And I really needed that at the time.

As I get older I am learning more and more about myself and one of those things is that growing up without a father present has been in a big factor in shaping who I am. When we were younger I was always jealous of Diane and Alisa, they seemed to have the perfect family, parents intact. I told myself not having a father was unfortunate but not a big deal either. But looking back I realize how important it is to have a dad. Thankfully my mom did the job of both parents as best as she could and I love her and thank her for that. But I am also very glad that I became friends with Diane and Alisa and that Mr. and Mrs. Peters are my second set of parents. I'm glad I gave that phone call to Mr. Peters and I am so thankful that he was willing to talk to me and let me lean on him.

Mr. Peters, you are the kind of father that I always wished I had and I am blessed to have known you and blessed to be a friend of your family. I wish I took advantage of your listening ear more often and I wish Brandon had the chance to meet you too, I think you two would have gotten along well. When I told him what happen I guess he had already heard so much about you and your family that he wanted to come with me down to NN. Sorry he couldn't but he really wanted to, it was the first thing out of his mouth after "I'm sorry." when it happened. We have overcome the challenges of the beginning of our relationship, just like you said we would, and it turns out he loves me, just like you said it sounded like he did.

I will truly truly miss you.


p.s. just incase you are wondering, Diane and I are speaking and friends again, apparently it was just a bump in the friendship

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for your nice words, Tina. And how special that you saw him as a kind of father figure. Thanks to Brandon also for wanting to attend the services even though he never met Dad. That says a lot about both of them I think. (Alisa)